Weaning your toddler
Weaning Your Toddler: A Gentle, Connected Approach
By Nuala Kennedy (Mothernurture.ie), IBCLC
When we picture “weaning,” we often imagine a single day — one feed that’s simply the last.
In truth, as Emma Pickett IBCLC so beautifully describes, weaning is a process, not an event. It’s a gradual emotional and physical transition for both you and your child.
If you’ve reached the toddler years and are thinking about weaning, know this: you’ve already provided your child with an incredible foundation of comfort, nourishment, and security. Now, you can approach this next stage with the same love and sensitivity that defined your breastfeeding journey so far.
Understanding Toddler Weaning
By toddlerhood, breastfeeding is rarely just about milk. It really is about meeting emotional needs and connection.
Your toddler nurses for many reasons: to reconnect after separation, to regulate big emotions, to fall asleep, or simply because it’s part of their rhythm with you. When you decide to start weaning, understanding these layers helps you approach change with empathy rather than resistance.
Before you begin, take a moment to reflect:
Are you ready to start weaning — physically, emotionally, or practically?
Is this decision coming from your own needs, or from outside pressure?
What role does breastfeeding play for your child right now — and how might you replace or adapt that connection?
There is no “right” age or “correct” method. Weaning can begin at any point that feels right for you and your family.
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A Gentle, Parent-Led Approach
1. Begin With Connection
Weaning doesn’t mean withdrawing comfort. It means offering it in new ways.
Start by adding other forms of closeness — more cuddles, reading together, or gentle skin-to-skin time. If your toddler asks to breastfeed, you might say:
“You can have a cuddle right now, and we’ll have milk later."
This keeps the emotional bond intact while slowly shifting the habit.
2. Communicate Honestly
Avoid tricks or surprises. Toddlers deserve honest, loving communication. The more honest you are,the better.
You might say:
"Mammy's boobs are tired but I'll never be too tired to snuggle you" or
"My body is going to stop making milk soon, but I’ll always be here to cuddle you.”
Naming the change helps your child make sense of it — and allows space for feelings. If your toddler gets upset or angry, acknowledge it: “It’s okay to feel sad. I understand you’ll miss boobies”
Honesty builds trust and helps the transition feel safe.
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3. Make Small, Gradual Changes
Weaning is most comfortable when it happens gradually — for both your child and your body. It can be highly emotional for you and your child, therefore slower is best.
You can:
Drop one feed at a time, starting with the least important to your child.
Shorten the duration of feeds.
Offer distraction or comfort before a feed is requested.
Offer distraction during a feed to shorten the length of the feed.
Move feeding to specific times or places (for example, only at bedtime).
Your milk supply will adjust naturally, and your toddler will have time to adapt emotionally.
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4. Set Loving Boundaries
If certain behaviours (like nipple twiddling or frequent night feeds) are becoming uncomfortable, it’s okay to set limits. Boundaries are not rejection — they’re part of teaching respect and mutual care.
You can say:
> “I don’t like that. You can hold my hand instead.”
or
“We’ll have milk when the sun comes up.”
These small, predictable limits help your child learn that your body and your needs matter too — an important life lesson that doesn’t harm attachment.
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5. Support Your Own Transition
Weaning can bring mixed emotions — relief, sadness, even grief. Hormonal changes are real, and the end of breastfeeding can feel like closing a beautiful chapter.
Be gentle with yourself:
Rest and hydrate as your supply adjusts.
Watch for signs of engorgement or blocked ducts.
Seek emotional support if you need it — from peers, a counsellor, or your IBCLC.
You are not “just” stopping feeds; you are evolving your relationship with your child.
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What If Your Toddler Isn’t Ready?
Sometimes, life events — illness, teething, new childcare, a move — can make toddlers cling to nursing more. That’s okay. You can pause and revisit weaning later.
If you feel conflicted, remember: this isn’t all-or-nothing. Many families find a middle ground — keeping one or two comforting feeds while reducing others. What matters most is that both of you feel supported.
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Final Thoughts
Weaning a toddler isn’t about ending connection; it’s about transforming it.
Your breast was your child’s first place of safety and love — and that bond continues long after breastfeeding ends.
By approaching weaning gently, communicating openly, and respecting both your needs, you’re teaching your child that change can happen within love, not through loss.
When you’re ready, take it step by step. Trust yourself, trust your relationship, and know that your care — not the milk alone — is what your child truly needs.
To book in a weaning consultation with me click below or follow me on Instagram for more helpful tips and continue the conversation.
Nuala
www.mothernurtureie.net